Saturday, May 7, 2011

Rock the Ted

If a blog’s first post is a bit like an opening face off, we at Ted’s Fake had a good opening ten minutes.  A small birth announcement in The Washington Post, lots of great comments, a good group of followers, tons of tweets, and a question as to whether we’re about parody or bashing over at The Bumper Boards.

To be clear, we’re about neither parody nor bashing.  We’re about accountability.   We’re about holding Ted to actually doing what he says.  Mere hand waves from the Owner’s Box are not enough for us. 

Yesterday’s readers shared an array of thoughts.  This makes for great conversation, and, sometimes, humorous (even ridiculous) points.  We especially liked the encouragement we got to abandon our New York Yankees-like aspirations.  This got us thinking, and the first word that came to mind when we thought Yankees was (honestly) “champions” – which, alas, is not exactly the first word that comes to mind when we think Capitals.  

League Championships won:
New York Yankees, 27
Washington Capitals, 0. 

Being fair, the Yankees have played much, much longer than the Capitals; so, here’s a head-to-head comparison of the two teams since the day Ted bought the Caps:

League Championships won:
New York Yankees, 3
Ted’s Caps, 0

If our obsession with actually winning championships strikes some as unfair, they might be interested to recall who pledged himself as being on our side with our Yankees-like singular focus (note, especially, the last bullet item, please). 

Since making his pledges, Ted’s Caps have suffered epic playoff collapses to Montreal and Tampa; and no one can confuse either the 2009-2010 or 2010-2011 team of having much of a singular focus in pursuit of their goal in either playoff season. 

So this is what we at Ted’s Fake are about: accountability.  If you blog it, we wanna see it really happen.  If it doesn’t, we’ll speak up.  And if we have to crash the net (only with words), we will.


  1. This is the lamest column idea I have ever seen.
    You should be ashamed of yourself.
    The entire premise of "accountability" for winning is so ridiculous. Did you ever play a sport in your life?
    Why don't you try some positive ju-ju instead of vitriol?
    Everyone would like to have the Yankees winning record.
    There is only one Yankee team in all of sports. Everyone would like to have Warren Buffet's investment track record too, but there is only one Berkshire Hathoway. Do you think all the other fund-managers are having people start blogs demanding "accountability" for not "winning" more often?
    My final question: What is the point of this blog? Are you offering solutions or merely pointing out problems?

  2. Bitch bitch bitch with no actual idea as to what direction the Caps should go.

    Some psuedo mid-level management speak of repeating over and over "you just have to BE winners to win" isn't the magic cure-all this idiot blogger seems to think it is.

    The Yankees comparison (which I brought up in my comment to your first worthless post) doesn't translate to baseball for too many reason to even list, much less debate.

    Have you even done the math to consider how long each franchise has been in existence, and perhaps how successful the most successful Hockey franchise has been to extrapolate any meaningful conclusion from that (earth to blogger, we became a team in 1974 as opposed to 1903 and have this pesky salary cap to contend with)?

    Canadians have 24 titles since 1915 but haven't won a title since 1993. CLEARLY you should be devoting your time to bashing how worthless that organization is for not having sniffed the cup since Grunge was still cool right?

  3. @Dewes,

    While I may agree with your notion of the sports being difficult to compare, your comment makes me wondering you're reading clearly. "Ted" has done exactly what you asked him to. You asked him to "do the math," and he did just that. Not only did he consider that the Caps have only been a team since 1974, he also considered that Leonsis has only been the owner since 1999.

    And, I quote:

    "Being fair, the Yankees have played much, much longer than the Capitals; so, here’s a head-to-head comparison of the two teams since the day Ted bought the Caps:

    League Championships won:
    New York Yankees, 3
    Ted’s Caps, 0"

    Again, I'll ask you... Are you sure you're reading clearly?

  4. Feed your anger, young Jedi. Feed mine, too. But keep it finely honed, for it is all too easy to go over the Dark Side (i.e., any team that wears black sweaters).

    As for all the nonsense in the comments...Dave, are you a braying Yankee-fan wanker, or just a braying Yankee-fan wanker? Dews, is this Ted a freakin' Habs fan? Look! Over there! Something completely irrelevant to what this Ted is saying!